Dear Friends of Media Friends,
How are you? (Yes, I know you won’t answer that question, because I never did when you asked me.) Hope you are also well. (I just wanted to “hope” you back after all the times you hoped the same for me.)
The Blogfather would like to thank you for contacting me with your exciting product/service/event/offer/idea. I’m really, sincerely appreciative of having you think of me/include me/mass-mail me the invitation for your campaign. Unfortunately, The Blogfather will no longer be taking on any marketing/PR engagements for the foreseeable future.
Don’t be sad; I’m not dead, dying, nor am I going to stop blogging (although these days, I find that to be very dependent on my mood). I’m just going to be blogging for my 138 loyal readers, my 7-8 family members, and myself.
Those are real estimates of my blog traffic numbers; because everyone keeps re-reading my posts multiple times every week on various computing devices, my monthly readership clocks in at about 2,000 on average (1,500 since my father passed away, so I think he may have been giving me about 500 clicks every month while he was still around). And seeing as I’ve been in the marketing and PR industry myself for a while now, I know full well having studied my blog statistics and comparing it with any of my parent blogging peers that there is really no real PR value in engaging me (or for that matter, using monthly unique visitor statistics).
So again, thank you; you’ve been a dear, really. I have loved everything that you’ve sent me, shown me, fed me, and paid me, but I’m going to try and put my very successful Internet celebrity status of being worshipped by my 146 or so curious parents behind me and get back to just blogging like a normal person.
You may remove me from your media list now.