How Arse Is Your Luck?

I ask this for comparison, partly to find out if there is anyone out there in my immediate circle that feels my pain, and partly to make myself feel better that I am not alone in the suffering of the cruel twists of fate that regularly befall me.

3 weeks ago (according to my mum), my dad asked me to fix his laser printer, which was giving out blotchy prints. If anyone kept track of what was going on here, one would do well to note 3 weeks ago was when my wife and I were in the final throes of going through a wedding day, and the subsequent weeks to follow saw my wife going through a post-wedding/post-op recovery process, not to mention a whole slew of work to deal with and a heap of bills to pay in the meantime. So imagine my ire when my father kicks up hell about me not performing my technical support duties as a son in front of my entire family including my wife just after the Beijing Olympic Games opening ceremony. Add to that negativity, my mother calling me to chide me for not adhering to my responsibilities as a son 30 seconds after the National Day Parade ended by “merely” sending my eldest sister’s boyfriend to check my dad’s printer instead of coming personally.

Today, I finally got round to looking at my dad’s printer. I decided cleverly to head out to Sim Lim Square to purchase some toner powder, since my sister mentioned the likeliest problem was simply that the toner run out. I then got to my parent’s place, and realised, in reality the tones drum had broken and tones was leaking out onto the paper like an old man with incontinence.

I head out to Sim Lim Square again to get a tones cartridge (which turns out to cost as much as the printer itself) and head back to my parent’s place to replace the errant cartridge, only to find out the new cartridge is also broken.

Back to Sim Lim Square again to do an exchange, only to be told the cartridge will be sent back to the damn printer company and the issue will need to be investigated, and I was issued a receipt and told it would take one week to get a new one.

One week?!

Somebody please reassure me that my life has not officially hit rock bottom and I should not just go kill myself right now. Please tell me this doesn’t happen all the time and the bad luck fairy is just mucking about with me but she’s done now. Please tell me you’ve had worse days and this is just a small scratch as opposed to all the broken, battered and bruised experiences you’ve had.

I realise at this point that there are children starving in Africa, village people in Thailand who don’t have official identities registered with their governments and women and children in Europe who have to go through a life of war torn suffrage on a daily basis. Forgive me then, when I complain of a rather ridiculously bad day when all this is is bad parent-son communication. Because today I feel like shit, and this is, after all, my ivory throne.

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