A friend of mine (quite a popular online personality, but that’s really all I have to say… or need to) posted up a Facebook status last Sunday about his opinion on how homosexuals come about.
He thought most of the gay (men) he’s ever met were like that because they didn’t have a father figure.
I thought, “Oh. My. God. You did not jussst sssay thaaaat.” (I can actually impersonate one quite well. I have various cross-dressing photos to prove it.)
But more than just wanting to comment on how a public figure should never shoot himself in the foot like that (I’ll talk about that a little later), I wanted to just share my opinion (my opinion ah, not my advice ah) about this whole homosexuality issue. Because I like to live life on the edge, you know?
My dad is very homophobic. When I was a kid, he would disallow me from making voices for my stuffed dolls because it sounded like a girl (I have another blog post for that story). When I first had my left ear pierced, I had to explain to him left was for male and right was for gay just so he’d let me. He was okay with it only because I already had a girlfriend at the time already.
And just like that very popular friend I mentioned just now, I’ve had my fair share of experience with LGBT friends. I even got picked up a couple of times. Understandably, I was pretty homophobic too in the beginning. But then I started getting acquainted with quite a number of people (both straight and LGBT) in the nightlife and entertainment industry, and my perception changed.
Particularly one night at a bar I was working in, when one guy tried to pick me up. I was starting to get used to it (the pick-up lines, which I must say, are a lot better than what guys usually use on girls), so I said to the guy, “Dude, sorry, I’m straight. But I do want to talk to you.”
It was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. He shared so much about himself, his lifestyle, and how much he would like to take me home with him. But what really struck me that night was how much I enjoyed the conversation, his company, and more importantly, how he had managed to break my homophobia to smithereens with his respect for my choice of sexual identity, kindly returned by my utmost respect — and curiosity — for his choice. And as I grew bolder and enquired more, I learned that sometimes, things happen or don’t happen, and then you become that way. Sometimes, you are just born that way. Either way, there is no choice. It’s just… life.
My wife and I have lots of LGBT friends. And we absolutely love them to bits, as they do us. I’d like to think it’s because I took the time to understand their point of view, but I’m beginning to suspect it’s really because of something else, something that up till now has been left unspoken.
I refuse to be a hypocrite. If I can accept my LGBT friends for what they are, I know I have to accept the lifestyle, the culture, the being, wholeheartedly just as it is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, and I will never, ever say, “Oh, I know gay friends, but I’m sure my son has been well-provided for enough that he won’t turn into one.”
That is just so contradictory, and downright hypocritical to me.
So for all my gay friends out there, and the Singapore LGBT community at large, this is my statement to you, as a heterosexual father whose sole purpose is to bring his son up right: my son likes flowers, not toy soldiers. He likes the colour pink, not blue (though this may change, we don’t know). And he has asked my wife for nail polish on a couple of occasions. We let him make his own choices, because we want him to be him, and not what we want him to be. So are we worried he might turn gay? No. And we’re not worried if he does become a homosexual either. Because we love him just the same, and we know the world will love him just the same.
Mind you, this is just me sharing my opinion.